Media Circus Nostalgia

Ahh...Justin Bieber.

You finally did it.

Hell, you set it up in storytelling beats. You had your henchman set up little conflicts before launching the main event.

People talked about it for a while, things went in motion, but now it begins.

There's no way you can get out of this unscathed. You're not Heisenberg. You're not witty like Robert Downey Jr.

They might give you celebrity treatment, but it's only fuel to the flame.

It's a weird corner to be in: Like, no one respects your antics, and the teen girl audience that adored you are being hushed away by their parents.

The weirdest thing about all of this is that it still doesn't feel rebellious, just stupid. Like, Bieber wants to be this bad boy, but it isn't working. It's not who he is. He's Canadian. Any Canadian engaging in immoral behavior just looks embarrassing. Ask Rob Ford. Bumbaclot, eh?

But I will say this, I'm not going to pretend to be above the scandal.

There's a lot of evil stuff going on in the world, and this is being used as a distraction from that.

Now, can all those evil things be depressing sometimes? Yes.

Al Qaeda is occupying Fallujah. Would you like me to talk about Fallujah? No, I can hear you yawning already.

It was a lot like how Michael Jackson's issues were a distraction from the Iraq War.

You have to admit, there's something very...I think the term would be..."spectator enriching" about celebrity meltdowns.

Remember how Wacko Jacko was? I remember people in school checking their cell phones for updates (this was when the idea of using your cell phone to check for the news was somewhat of a novelty concept). I remember being in the gym finding out about his innocence.

A lot of stuff happened back in the day. A lot of stuff I have should have forgotten about. But I still remember that.

I think the celebrity meltdown is slowly filling the void that tentpole cinema used to inhabit.

I remember when Spielberg's movies were huge. They were a cultural event. Society seemed to change with each Spielberg film. Jurassic Park. Hell, even the opening day of Lost World was pretty awesome.

And it sort of happens these days, but the movies they push into an event are always kind of lame. Hunger Games might be the exception, but a movie based on a book about kids killing each other is not something that's going to keep being a norm.

Nah, celebrity meltdowns are the new events. You can't make a film out of it, meltdowns happen in real time. It's fun to watch on social media.

And every tabloid feels like a site in some expanded universe. The melting artist's body of work takes new meaning due to new incidents.

Honestly though, celebrity meltdowns capture what was once so special about the early days of cinema. When Gone With the Wind was in theaters, it was an event. It represented what was going on with people at the time. That can't be replicated now. I can just catch the film on Netflix later.

Looking back, I remember where I was when certain celebrity meltdowns happened.

It's something memorable that you can talk with your buddies about without having to worry about people getting hurt, which the exception of certain pedestrians and bystanders during DUI instances.

Is it going to be sad if Justin endangers himself? Yeah. But there isn't much anyone can do about at this point. He's an adult, with a large disposable income. He can take care of himself.

He's gonna need to in the next couple of months.