Braindump

I have a lot of stuff on my mind, so forgive me if this post goes nowhere.

My maternal grandfather passed away. It has not been fun.

In an attempt to feel better, I started reading Jerry Weintraub's When I Stop Talking, You'll Know I'm Dead. 

It helped me a lot. Jerry had a lot of fun Hollywood adventures.

I wanted to see what he had been up to lately. 

I found out that Jerry passed away on July 6th.

Adjusted for the International Dateline, my grandfather and Jerry may have passed away around the same time. 

Jerry produced The Karate Kid. Okinawa was a big part of those movies. My grandfather lived in Okinawa, so this really resonated with me.

I wish to live a more fulfilled life because of both of these men.

I have a list of tasks that continues to pile up. And there's a wide stream of thoughts that flood my mind. I've been having really bizarre intricate dreams lately.

I'm in a constant debate with myself. And that debate is the ability to be both in the present moment and have a well planned future. I'm having issue figuring out how Buddhists are able to obtain this balance.

It's something I'm dealing with.

I was reading an advice column. It was about guitar practice. Someone was having issues making the most of their practice. They were losing enthusiasm. Another person chimed in, saying that you have to practice guitar so much that it's not fun. That you'll want to kill yourself from practicing so much.

That would be the only way to success.

Bubble butt. Bubble bubble bubble butt.

I think the guitarists are being too hard on themselves. It should be simply a matter of having your work out there.

I thought we weren't supposed to give a fuck?

Perhaps it's time to pick speed over perfection. Isn't that the definition of punk rock?

But sometimes, you work too fast, and we go back to it not being fun anymore. And you say, I could have been a banker instead of this. 

Because rushed sequels aren't fun. Maybe it's a matter of playing it by ear.

How come you always know when something is corporate? You could shoot a video on a potato, and you would know it's viral marketing for something else. How does that happen? How does the groupthink run so deep?

I don't favor people who take pride in ignorance. It's okay not to know something, but the fact that people refuse to Google the answer amazes me. 

I have found them to be bad luck. 

Anytime I work with someone, and they say "X" was an influence on their work, I go see what "X" is. I don't have to enjoy it, I only have to know what it is. And they love me for it. This sounds simple, but it's really hard for people to do.

I need to work with positive people. I'm complaining a lot here, and I don't like it. Don't appreciate what negative people make you become. It's funny for a while until the novelty wears off.

I also think the current crop of rock consumers are snobs. Myself included. That's how I used to be. And I think that snobbery means you shouldn't care that much about what they think. Maybe a little bit, but only because you want to.

That energy needs to be used for the generation of new content. And not some stupid YouTube channel where all you do is bitch. A media personality? You want to be a media personality? That's dogshit. You have to terrorize your assistant to keep the facade that you deserve to be there. You have to gossip and bring others down.

And when your scandal hits, it's all over. You can forgive an artist for doing evil things. You can't forgive a media personality. Because scandal meshes with the personality. Shooting at the walls of heartache, bang bang...

Something pissing you off should be a call to action.

I've been looking at these five year old pieces of electronic equipment, and I'm staring at them in amazement at what they're capable of, and if the current crop of artists can't grow to appreciate it, what does that say about where we're going?

That's another thing I've been fighting. Being happy with what you have versus fulfilling your maximum potential.

If I'm happy, nothing gets done. And if I'm at maximum, I'm waiting for burnout eventually. Maybe there's a sinner/saint relationship to it. You want more in life when you work, and then you come home and pray and confess your guilt for wanting more.

I don't know, this is a braindump. 

I don't really admire people who go into any creative field without having a general curiosity. I love reading Jerry Weintraub's stories about Armand Hammer and all the shenanigans they've gotten into. It's like they found some layer to life that most of us have yet to discover.

But how can you communicate with an A&R rep if you're still angry at MTV? It's beyond irrelevant.

You can't be an aspiring career musician and only listen to the music you like. You have to experiment. That's how you communicate with others in your field. Peter Voogd said billionaires experiment. I love that.

There should be an energy to the process.

When Tom Cruise was working with Kubrick, he said the multiple takes gave him time to work on things that were bothering him about Eyes Wide Shut. There was progress. Whatever the speed is, it should be better than yesterday.

Bragging about yourself is a faux pas. Hiring a person to brag about you is perfectly acceptable.

I think people aren't really that soft. We just give a fuck about schadenfreude too much. We'll get tired of it. A new perspective will emerge. The pendulum is swinging the other way.

I'm sort of worried about how people will perceive me because of this post, but at the same time, this is coming from a sincere place. If you cannot accept that, we probably aren't compatible. It wouldn't work eventually.

It's a post. You didn't even pay for it. You can't even write.

Man of words. True believer.