Three Types Of People Who Like Me

Life is interesting.

I think I've said it before, but it bears repeating.

I only wish that the intricacies of life could have been replicated in film.

I want a movie to have a prophecy and not have the prophecy come true. Like puppies and the porcupine.

A lot of people in the media industry have decided to create more content and more views by making life harder for everyone else.

I don't like this.

Never have.

Never will.

Can I be tempted? Sure. But who wants to be tempted?

At this point in my career, I have figured out that the things that I write, the things that I create, are enjoyed by three different types of people. And they are:

Horror Aficionados: This is pretty self explanatory. If you have a passion for horror films or are someone who's so passionate about films that it overflows into a love of the horror genre, we're going to get along. If you've ever watched a shitty horror film and wished someone came along who cared about the genre, talk to me about movies. It might take a couple shitty movies before we get the one we want, but we can have fun.

Mildly Gothy College Girls: It might have to do more with who I'm attracted to, but women who are gothy tend to like my stuff, especially when it comes to captivating female characters. I pride myself on making projects that have strong female characters.

I feel like this recent feminist-but-only-when-it's-convenient has sort of alienated me a bit, since a lot of it doesn't really improve the conditions for women in the industry. No one has come along trying to make interesting movies that have female characters. A lot of it is whining without action. That's lame.

A while back in the gym, I was talking to this girl on an exercise bike. She had blonde hair, seemed really preppy.

And she was reading a book. And I asked her what her book was about. And she said she was reading about an airplane crash that happened in the mountains and how the survivors had to eat the dead to survive. There was so much enthusiasm in her voice telling me this story. I'd like to make stories for her.

So, if you're a college girl (and I think college girl is a state of mind than anything else), check my stuff out. You can poke me with a stick if I act out of place.

Black People Who Like Monster Movies: When I was a kid, I had a friend named Shawn in Torrance. I remember Shawn made a joke about how some guy's Mom was so fat that Godzilla's heat vision would bounce off of roastee's Mom's ass. I don't know what happened to Shawn, but I would like to make movies for him, wherever he is.

I tried in the past to work with playwrights trying to be the next Tyler Perry. Sometimes it works, but most of the time it doesn't. And I've realized that, while I enjoy work in serious relationship dramas, I gel best with guys and girls who know who MF Doom is. The Abstract and The Dragon. Wu Tang. Godzilla movies and kung fu movies.

I remember as a kid, I made a ninja movie in high school with my friend Jahlani. Jahlani got grounded for having a BB gun under his bed (J, I'm not snitching, the statute of limitations are up on that), and we had to shoot the ninja film without him.

It's an unresolved plotline in my life. I would like to put my own spin on what Michael Jai White does so well.

I'll probably talk about the ninja film later (it was called Kabuki Blood Theatre) which was my own personal Heart of Darkness.