Wednesday, February 25, 2015

What Keith Olbermann Taught Me About Being Likable

So, Keith Olbermann is in trouble again.

This was the only picture I could find of him that was free to use
I got what I paid for. 

He went off on a rant about Penn State's victories being reinstated and ended up insulting students who raised money to fight cancer.

Did he get trapped into it? Kind of.

Was there a more diplomatic solution that he overlooked? Absolutely.

It's easy to be on the outside looking in and throw stones, but I'm not going to do that.

I don't think he should get suspended, and I don't think he should get fired.

But I sure as hell am going to remember this when he calls for someone's resignation. Guarantee it.

It's easy to want Olbermann to get fired. He's not likable.

And it's funny. Because, unlikability on a level like this is not something that can be conjured in a work of fiction. We all deal with toads and tools (and a few toadstools) in all walks of life, but it's never easy to create a tool of a character in fiction.

What is the difference between Robert Downey Jr. and Macklemore?

What makes you feel a certain way about a person?

A part of it can come from your allegiances. I like the Lakers. Never understood why some people don't like Kobe. He's innocent. He doesn't need a wheelchair to take him off the court when he hurts an elbow.

Lebron. I've come to the terms that he's a human being. And it's a silly game.

Bill O'Reilly. Michael Moore. Each side has theirs.

So, it has to be something more than that.

Likability comes from knowledge, more importantly, knowledge of everyone's perspective and knowing the world does not revolve around you 

You know how certain things are racist, but other things are tolerated?

I think it comes to this...

When someone feels like they aren't treated like human beings, like a joke is made at their expense, as oppose to an observation of the human condition, they find it racist.

The preceding sentence was very lawyery. I did that on purpose. There's going to be someone yammering about it.

Giuliana is not friends with Zendaya. That's why there's problems.

Insulting someone you don't know is different.

But at the same time, the entire point of Fashion Police is designed to tear people down. Fashion Police Brutality. Even the Fashion Police are racist. That was a joke. I hope it was received as such. Fine, give me a day to pen the apology...

There's a difference between joking about an experience with your friends, and that asshole nine year old yelling racial slurs on Xbox Live.

You see it in a lot of shows where diverse people are depicted. You can feel like there was this obligation to quota. No character has a voice, because you don't know where that character comes from. Lena Dunham writing a black character, for example.

And interesting characters can't exist because of it. Conflict is interesting. But, conflict can be interpreted as prejudice.

If Luke Skywalker is black, you'll say he couldn't stop the Death Star without white Han Solo saving him.

If Han Solo is black, you'll say that he is some type of oppressive archetype because he's helping a white person succeed.

Quota destroys innovation, whether that's financial, political, or otherwise.

Does that mean you shouldn't talk to those different than you? No, it doesn't.

I personally don't think most people are racists. I think there is some flaw in human psychology that we've yet to analyze. We never acknowledge good things. This is where negativity comes from.

I mean, working in customer service can make you hate people. But that's only because you're forgetting the good people you work with everyday. You take them for granted, because you don't worry about them. You don't toss and turn thinking about them. Unless you're a weirdo like me, of course.

But let's be honest. The reason why Olbermann has backfired is because...

He comes off as insincere 

People used to ask Mister Rogers why he remained to be the same person offscreen as onscreen.

Mister Rogers replied "Kids can spot a phony from a mile away". He always accepted people for who they were.

Back in the day, a group of thieves stole Mr. Rogers car. They returned it shortly later with the note "Sorry we stole your car, we didn't know it was yours".

If that doesn't warm your heart, don't talk to me.

You never want to make money being a personality. That is, something that you need to turn on and off. Something you're not consistent with.

If you're not an artist, and you are burdened to create content everyday, all that is left is creating drama. All that's left is pissing people off.

You can't seal yourself off and work on your novel or your album. You can't go into self-exile and train for your next match.

It's not good to be a personality.

Because we all have bad days. And each fanbase needs an excuse.

Kate Gosselin has no excuses. There's no reason to be a fan of Kate Gosselin.

All the reasons are gone. Especially if you're not a nice person to work with.

John Travolta is getting a lot of flack right now. But if you love Welcome Back, Kotter, Saturday Night Fever, and Pulp Fiction, there's nothing his new silliness can do to take that away. Although, some will argue that he tries.

Making something of worth can erase a lot of negatives. At least excuses. A lot of despicable people have made amazing things.

It's this weird emotion I feel when Kanye says he has the right to work with Disney Imagineers. It's almost like when Iggy Azalea does anything. Can you imagine Gucci Mane throwing a fit over Papa John's giving out his number? I don't even think Iggy Pop would care.

You know that old Outer Limits episode where scientists create fake aliens in order to create a fake alien invasion so the world can unite?

I feel like Iggy Azalea is an alien created to bring people of all races together. I feel like T.I. might secretly be a martyr. Everyday he says to himself "One day, it will all be worth it". It makes more sense than what we're dealing with right now.

We like Walter White, because we want to pretend that's who we will become when we have to deal with something as bad as cancer.

Everyday, we wake up, and deal with obstacles. We like to look up to those who solve those problems.

And we resent those who only make it worse on themselves.

Those teenagers who keep tripping in the slasher movies. We actually root for Jason Voorhees. He has plans, and he knows where he's going.

I root for everyone in this picture

It's the fundamental root of drama and storytelling.

We mess up. We accept characters that mess up. But they have to redeem themselves. Redemption means they've learned something. And we like them better for that.

Keith Olbermann has been to the doghouse before. And he's going back. He hasn't learned. This bothers people.

He's not Steve McQueen going back in the cooler.

He's every other guy apologizing, maybe make a comment about anger management, rehab and the like.

And it's going to continue...

So till the next time, we'll see you.

Monday, February 9, 2015

Thirty Million Dollar Mindset

So, I saw Jupiter Ascending.

I really liked it.

A lot of people didn't like it.

These are the same people who complain about a lack of originality in Hollywood.

So, fuck 'em.

And from this point on, I'm going to actively repel people in my life who do not want me to succeed.

This isn't a matter of being a snob.

Saying you will succeed isn't snobbish. Dismissing someone's accomplishments is snobbish.

It's the definition of being a snob.

It's an unwarranted criticism from someone who doesn't deserve the time of day.

I wanna succeed, and I'm going to surround myself with people who want to succeed.

And I'm going to hang around people who are in touch with me creatively on a larger level.

Nicholas Meyer didn't watch a lot of Star Trek. If he did, it might have stunted him from pushing the series forward. He dug into things he was passionate about. Mainly, Napoleonic naval warfare. And he bled that into Star Trek, and he created some of the greater films in the series.

A lot of people look at the culture at large as some sort of get rich quick scheme. Sometimes it works, even to the point where it makes a good artist angry and loathsome.

But it doesn't last long. All con artists get caught eventually.

It takes a balance. A lot of people wanna be Kubrick. They treat the film they're working on like they're Kubrick. No studio today is going to give a young director Kubrick money or Kubrick power.

But Kubrick didn't have access to the things a lot of young filmmakers have access to. 

It's both easier and harder to be a filmmaker.

It's easy to do things. But society wants more. Hitchcock might not have been able to maintain a social media campaign. It is what it is.

And maybe we're a better society because of it.

Maybe Hitchcock getting caught on his bullshit if he were to live in the modern era would be a good thing. Like Bill Cosby.

It's a new world. Plan accordingly. A lot of history is nostalgia, so beware putting the past on a pedestal. Opera was a crude artform for poor people. People with class stayed home and sang madrigals. It's in Gone With The Wind.

There's so much room so for so many interesting opportunities.

There's a project I've been thinking about.

I've been thinking about it since 2007.

Since high school.

It's something that always comes back to my mind when things get hard.

For this project to exist, I'm going to need thirty million dollars.

Now, there are many other projects I have to execute before I can get to this.

This project is my Ganondorf. It's my Ganon.

I died a lot of times before I got to Ganondorf. Not just that, I took time off and did other things because life got in the way. 

When I was a kid playing Legend of Zelda for the first time, I didn't realize I had to light the Deku Stick on fire. I was in that chamber for a good three days.

It seems silly, and it is. But, eventually, with time, you play the game, you beat Ganondorf, and you beat Ganon.

It's not about how slow you go, as long as you finish, so said Confucius (although people wonder if Confucius actually existed, blahblahblah, cognitive dissonance, little picture)

The point is, there's going to be a lot of time focusing in on this thing. Maybe someone else could have come along and done a better job. But they are not here right now, and I am. And after that's done, we move onto Majora. Did I ever beat Majora? I don't even remember...

And as long as there's something to do (which there is a lot of), I'm going to keep showing up till said thing is done.

I always thought I was guilty to aim for something like this.

But in order to acquire that kind of opportunity, you're going to need to do 30 million dollars of work. And to get the results you want, you have to be better than the results that you want. Everyone thinks they're underpaid at their job. This will be no different.

But the truth is, I plan to exceed those expectations. And not feel guilty if things turn out right.

You can't be afraid of success.

I mean, it's life right? And we know we're gonna die right? And the haters don't follow us to the afterlife right?

So, what's the problem?

Sunday, February 8, 2015

Do The Hustle

Filmmaking is changing.

It's changing faster than the fashion world.

It's changing faster than your software updates.

It's hard to keep up.

You can take some time as a scriptwriter, and learn the craft.

Reading books. Experiencing 5000 years of storytelling.

But with regards to actually getting in the industry, there's so many changes to the process of filmmaking that it can be hard to jump in. And not just jump in, but jump in and become successful.

By the time people figure it out, you feel like you've missed the ship.

I mean, look at mixtape campaigns.

So, there's a required skillset you need to implement change.

And that skill, is maintaining passion.

And that skill is the ability to hustle. The ability to adapt and overcome.

It annoys me to no end when people have no hustle, no game, and think they can somehow survive in the industry. Or any industry, really.

The arrogance that lives behind that mindset astounds me. It escapes logic. It shows that someone's life has been too easy. They've never worked in customer service.

I ask you on Twitter what your story is about, and you give some snarky comment about going to some bizarre website where your ebook is located. Piss off.

If you're not likable, you're leavable.

I'm a bit of a superstitious type. It's something that has happened over time due to certain experiences I have.

I'm convinced that people bring bad luck on themselves.

If you wish to prosper, and you hang out with bad luck people, you will not prosper.

I'm also becoming resentful of the contest mentality. The idea that you're going to give the heimlich to some film producer, and your problems will be saved. That's an idea I had when I was eighteen. When you see someone in their thirties with ideas like that, you want to slap them in their face.

And anything where you have to add personal drama. It's a side effect of the contest mentality. The need to be a victim.

Filmmaking is not being an artistic victim. Filmmaking is logistics and creative problem solving. It's fitting other people's needs to fit yours.

You talk about wanting to be rich. You talk about wanting to be famous. I ask for your Twitter/social media/whatever, and you go on some rant on privacy.

There is no privacy.

And there really is no privacy for rich and famous people.

How are you supposed to be famous if you don't want anyone to know who you are?

I mean, I understand haters. I don't tell certain people of my activities because they always have something negative to say. They don't like the movies I like and they don't like my projects. If you're not lovable, you're leavable.

This seems to be a big issue in a lot of relationships, or lack thereof.

Stop complaining about being single. You're not lovable, that's why people don't want to hang out with you. You're not fun. You don't do cool shit. Do cool shit. Always. Because that is life.

Get in trouble for the right reasons. Make it worth it.

It infuriates me.

Maybe corny's a good thing.

Maybe you're either T.I., jail going troublemaker, or T.I., Iggy Azalea producer.

Maybe we all have bad days and should deal with others so they deal with us.

Thursday, February 5, 2015

Why Nobody Likes Iggy Azalea

When is the Grammy's? That's sometime soon?

All this access to technology, and I refuse to Google when the Grammy's are taking place. I don't want to feel like I'm investing time in figuring out when that event occurs.

But that's just me.

The big issue behind this year's Grammys, is whether or not Iggy Azalea will fulfill the prophecy of being the female Macklemore.

Before I go any further, I would like to deliver a message to everyone in America:

Kids, if you have the passion to want to go in the arts, a field where you can bullshit yourself as an innovator, I would say at least take a couple of shots at it. Because the way things are going, it's only going to get worse.

I thought Macklemore was the worst thing to happen to hip-hop in America. But at the end of the day, Macklemore is at least pretending to deliver a sincere and positive message.

Iggy Azalea? I don't even understand it. I don't even comprehend it.

I don't think artists have to voice their opinion on every single thing that happens in the news. I think that's an ignorant placement of our values. There was some fire accident in another country. On the same day your film/album drops. You forgot to mention it. You asshole. Don't you know tweets save lives?/endsarcasm

But yes, kids, definitely pursue your dream for at least a year. Rappers today don't even rap. They mumble through the autotune. Even if you're a fecal matter musician, you might be an innovator of something in the future where you'll be written off as a genius. So at the very least, sling some poo on the wall and see what happens. Say you're trying to explore yourself, remind people that what you're doing isn't illegal (unless you have an uptight city council, but I don't wanna get into that).

But, case in point, Iggy Azalea. People don't like her. Could it be because...

She has completely destroyed the notion that you need street credibility in hip-hop

Iggy's finishing what Rick Ross started.

Remember when 50 Cent did that whole thing where he said Ja Rule was whack?

I still don't understand that. I need someone to explain that to me. How is someone who had to go to jail considered not a "credible" artist, but you'll turn around and accept the fact that a correctional officer took his name from Freeway Rick Ross?

And Rick Ross is going to say something about police brutality? Did he hate himself as a correctional officer? Is Rick Ross suffering from borderline personality disorder (sidenote: What happened to Nicki Minaj's other characters that were in her head? Did that go away with Ebola?)

Maybe it was one of those situations where Jay Z saw Rick Ross's following, saw his numbers, signed him up, did a little more investigating, realized what happened, and did his best to make sure everyone forgot about it.

Ever listen to rap music made by real killers? It reminds me of the rap equivalent to Charles Manson's album. Or white supremacist punk bands.

Like, you're too busy doing bad things to focus on being an accomplished musician, and everything has this creepy vibe when you think about the background behind it. Do you really think Tony Montana would be a good rapper? Be honest.

Iggy ain't in the murder business. Iggy doesn't wanna be in the murder business. No talks about romantic conjugals with dysfunctional collectors of murderabilia. Authenticity ain't fun kids. Romantic idealism is amazing. Authenticity is using your driver's license and putting it in an art gallery. Don't go there. It's not fun.

She Doesn't Seem To Care Much For The Genre

Christopher Nolan has said something that has dramatically changed how I see everything. With regards to movies he said "When you watch a film, and you feel like whoever made this film thinks it's the greatest film ever, that's the sign of a quality movie".

You can apply this with anything. Being literate in your craft. Doing the little things that show you care. Giveafuck, as I like to call it.

Just look at this video at 1:30 when she was with Sway.

Didn't even try to freestyle.

Like, listen, I understand we all have bad days, maybe a fear that the rap would have came out whack. But there wasn't even any passion there. Riff Raff did better. And Riff Raff doesn't even perform apparently, he plays his songs, vibes out to them, and just randomly sings the chorus when he performs live.

Q Tip gave her a shoutout on Twitter. Do you realize how happy I would be if Q Tip gave me a shoutout on Twitter? He made 90s hip-hop what it was. He only got paid $10,000 to make one of the greatest albums of all time.

And she dissed him. A student of the craft wouldn't diss Q Tip.

Eminem made a song about her. Did she counter with a rap song, like a normal rapper? No, just a rant about how she's offended. That's so lame. Offended? In the murder business? The realest? Can you not feel it in your gut? How lame it is? 

Like, I try not to diss people in the industry because it burns networking bridges and blah, blah, blah, but I'm taking the risk on this one. It stinks.

I think the reason why hip-hop is so prevalent as opposed to heavy metal is that heavy metal tries too hard without getting any results.

And that's the cost of pride. Obscurity and disappointment. And a bill for all this gear. Hip-hop just needs a laptop. Hip-hop is an improvised explosion device.

But honestly, she ended up randomly ranting out one of her pre-written songs. How can you not look at that and tell me that's lame?

It stinks so much.

It's Continuously Inauthentic 

Listen, if you don't like white people, and you don't like white people listening to rap, that's fine. But you have to, on some level, enjoy white people when they're authentically who they are. Let them be apathetic and sing to Madonna in their GAP clothing.

Do you like Huey Lewis and The News?

(sidenote: A Dominican woman once told me she liked white boys. I asked her if she liked Huey Lewis and the News. She said she liked CNN. I thought that was hilarious)

You gotta let white people dance to Joy Division. You have to let losers like...what are we at now...Teen Mom? Who replaced Jersey Shore? Wasn't it Buckwild? But they died right? Who holds that crown now?

You have to let people live in their niche. Everyone hated Paris Hilton. Wanted her to go away. Mission Accomplished. Now we have Kardashians.

You wanted Saddam Hussein out of there, he was smuggling his cache into Syria.

Congratulations, you now have ISIS.

Winston Churchill once said that the "Wars of the People will be much more violent than the Wars of the Kings".

Vacuums get filled.

As much as I don't like Iggy, I think it's going to get worse. Like, we're going to get Bieber Iggy. Mumbling autotune as he screams at you playing Call of Duty Bieber Iggy.

And then we'll say "At least Iggy's a grown woman".

Three Types Of People Who Like Me

Life is interesting.

I think I've said it before, but it bears repeating.

I only wish that the intricacies of life could have been replicated in film.

I want a movie to have a prophecy and not have the prophecy come true. Like puppies and the porcupine.

A lot of people in the media industry have decided to create more content and more views by making life harder for everyone else.

I don't like this.

Never have.

Never will.

Can I be tempted? Sure. But who wants to be tempted?

At this point in my career, I have figured out that the things that I write, the things that I create, are enjoyed by three different types of people. And they are:

Horror Aficionados: This is pretty self explanatory. If you have a passion for horror films or are someone who's so passionate about films that it overflows into a love of the horror genre, we're going to get along. If you've ever watched a shitty horror film and wished someone came along who cared about the genre, talk to me about movies. It might take a couple shitty movies before we get the one we want, but we can have fun.

Mildly Gothy College Girls: It might have to do more with who I'm attracted to, but women who are gothy tend to like my stuff, especially when it comes to captivating female characters. I pride myself on making projects that have strong female characters.

I feel like this recent feminist-but-only-when-it's-convenient has sort of alienated me a bit, since a lot of it doesn't really improve the conditions for women in the industry. No one has come along trying to make interesting movies that have female characters. A lot of it is whining without action. That's lame.

A while back in the gym, I was talking to this girl on an exercise bike. She had blonde hair, seemed really preppy.

And she was reading a book. And I asked her what her book was about. And she said she was reading about an airplane crash that happened in the mountains and how the survivors had to eat the dead to survive. There was so much enthusiasm in her voice telling me this story. I'd like to make stories for her.

So, if you're a college girl (and I think college girl is a state of mind than anything else), check my stuff out. You can poke me with a stick if I act out of place.

Black People Who Like Monster Movies: When I was a kid, I had a friend named Shawn in Torrance. I remember Shawn made a joke about how some guy's Mom was so fat that Godzilla's heat vision would bounce off of roastee's Mom's ass. I don't know what happened to Shawn, but I would like to make movies for him, wherever he is.

I tried in the past to work with playwrights trying to be the next Tyler Perry. Sometimes it works, but most of the time it doesn't. And I've realized that, while I enjoy work in serious relationship dramas, I gel best with guys and girls who know who MF Doom is. The Abstract and The Dragon. Wu Tang. Godzilla movies and kung fu movies.

I remember as a kid, I made a ninja movie in high school with my friend Jahlani. Jahlani got grounded for having a BB gun under his bed (J, I'm not snitching, the statute of limitations are up on that), and we had to shoot the ninja film without him.

It's an unresolved plotline in my life. I would like to put my own spin on what Michael Jai White does so well.

I'll probably talk about the ninja film later (it was called Kabuki Blood Theatre) which was my own personal Heart of Darkness.

My Scumbag Mind

It's a weird thing.

I always have one thing to do each day. It's an important thing.

I go. I do that thing.

And then my brain stops caring about anything else after that.

I try to do other things. A lot of times, I get other things done. But that's about it.

Again, this is personal stuff. I always get business stuff done when other people are involved. But personal daily chores can be, well, a chore.

The concept of the "most important task of the day" was something I did when I burned myself out a while back.

It's a horrible issue I'm dealing with.

I mean, it's not drug addiction. And I know most people constantly wait till the last minute of the last day of their last life to do the things they truly wanted.

And I think I might have become like this after reaching some seriously huge personal goals. Writer's block is different for someone who's written fifteen feature length scripts as opposed to someone who's on the third feature length script.

It might be different for someone who started a blog, and never got pass their second post as opposed to someone who underwent a whole yearly webcomic.

But I don't like it.

I don't like it when people tell me to relax.

I don't want to relax.

Full potential only relaxes after the muscles are stressed out.

Taking time to smell the roses.

Maybe I shouldn't.

Maybe I need to surround myself with people who are so goddamn talented, I want to kill myself when I am in their presence.

I guess it could be who I am.

Oh, you like hip hop? Let me talk to you about Led Zeppelin and Black Sabbath.

Oh, you like rock? Have you heard that new Bobby Shmurda song?

I don't know, maybe I'm bitching a little too much. This is life. This is what you do. I always take a step back and think about what those Italian Renaissance Men would have done with current technology and opportunities.

I've procrastinated on getting a new gym membership. I might sign up on March. That depends on a couple other things.

It's good for creativity, but it's really bad for marketing.

My best ideas come at night. My best tweets happen at night. There's a lot of people in India and England that think I'm funny because I'm tweeting jokes in their waking hour.

Monday, February 2, 2015

Water and fire, but not firewater

Next time you have the urge to do something self-destructive, I'd suggest you see someone else doing it.

Watch a video of someone punching someone else in the face.

Watch a video of two guys screaming at each other.

Sit in the comfort of your home, dorm, or living room and realize what an ass everyone in these videos is making of themselves.

And realize that that could be you if you were out to do such a thing.

Watch a video where a man complains about being a man.

Watch a video where a woman complains about being a woman.

I've had the urge to address the issue on the division of the sexes lately.

But, I've done my research and am immediately discouraged by such an outing.

And opening your mouth and generalizing a small faction as an entire group makes you seem like a buffoon.

Because you don't really hate women.

And you don't really hate men.

There was that boy that you really got along with. You thought about asking him to hang out, but you didn't, And you know if you were to write a sexist post, and this person were to see it, you wouldn't be able to forgive yourself.

And same applies to everyone. You know Hitler knew some cute Jewish girl in his life growing up. He probably wanted to talk to her, but never did, and someone else did and married her.

He probably thought about her when he killed himself.

There's a lot of people in unfortunate circumstances who are in denial of what needs to be done, so they lash out when they should be working on themselves.

J. Cole's been making a lot of sense. "Cause I know every poet just wanna be loved".

Originally, I thought he said "deep down, every boy just wanna be loved", but that works as well.

If you hire a star player, let them be a star player. No one cares about your boring fucking opinion.

Your boring opinion fucking sucks. Do cool shit to do cool shit.

Jennifer Aniston's movie career isn't doing as well as she wants it to. Because I don't think Jennifer actually watches movies. She doesn't have an urge to do cool shit. She did all her cool shit making Friends. She needs to make cool shit again.

But cool shit is intimidating.

It's intimidating to ask for more as an artist.

It's intimidating when people tell you you'll never achieve something to go on and achieve it and ask for more.

I think this where the root of most people's fears come from.

Pete Carroll got cocky. It's who he is. He did it with the Longhorns. He did it with the Patriots.

Part of his cockiness won him the ring last year. Part of his cockiness was why he was so good with USC. But, he has to accept that there's another side to that, and if he wants to keep doing what he's doing, that's just a part of life he has to accept. He probably did a long time ago.

If you live a certain lifestyle that comes with blowback and repercussions, you're just going to have to decide that this is a part of the life you chose and it's going to be a part of your day now.

Walt Disney declared bankruptcy several times in his career. But he accepted that in order to do the things he wanted to do with his life, that was just something he had to deal with.

Walt Disney went to his grave fighting over money with his brother so he could make his projects. Again, that was something he had to deal with, and no one acknowledges, and he is an artist who will live forever because of it.

He would rather do that than work at a nine to five.

Working eighteen hour days and gambling your savings, your significant others savings, all over something that no one thinks will work. Disney's folly.

Take some trial, and a little bit of error. Figure out what you want. Give yourself a little space to fall. Don't make full blown predictions yet. The puppies and the porcupine picked the Seahawks. I'd like to think the Patriots would get disqualified for some cheating method that has yet to be discovered, but I'm not gonna worry about that.

Worry about you. Get what you want.

And make sure you'd keep doing it after you were rich.

A lot of shitty reality television celebs stop being artists after the money came in.

Chase the wrong thing, and you'll get it.

Sunday, February 1, 2015


I've been having a lot of fears regarding this blog.

I had this fear that I might say something that someone would discover that would jeopardize my later well being.

And I've decided if that you were someone that I'd come across that feels this way, I don't want you in my life nor in my career.

Good day sir.