Thursday, February 5, 2015

Why Nobody Likes Iggy Azalea

When is the Grammy's? That's sometime soon?

All this access to technology, and I refuse to Google when the Grammy's are taking place. I don't want to feel like I'm investing time in figuring out when that event occurs.

But that's just me.

The big issue behind this year's Grammys, is whether or not Iggy Azalea will fulfill the prophecy of being the female Macklemore.

Before I go any further, I would like to deliver a message to everyone in America:

Kids, if you have the passion to want to go in the arts, a field where you can bullshit yourself as an innovator, I would say at least take a couple of shots at it. Because the way things are going, it's only going to get worse.

I thought Macklemore was the worst thing to happen to hip-hop in America. But at the end of the day, Macklemore is at least pretending to deliver a sincere and positive message.

Iggy Azalea? I don't even understand it. I don't even comprehend it.

I don't think artists have to voice their opinion on every single thing that happens in the news. I think that's an ignorant placement of our values. There was some fire accident in another country. On the same day your film/album drops. You forgot to mention it. You asshole. Don't you know tweets save lives?/endsarcasm

But yes, kids, definitely pursue your dream for at least a year. Rappers today don't even rap. They mumble through the autotune. Even if you're a fecal matter musician, you might be an innovator of something in the future where you'll be written off as a genius. So at the very least, sling some poo on the wall and see what happens. Say you're trying to explore yourself, remind people that what you're doing isn't illegal (unless you have an uptight city council, but I don't wanna get into that).

But, case in point, Iggy Azalea. People don't like her. Could it be because...

She has completely destroyed the notion that you need street credibility in hip-hop

Iggy's finishing what Rick Ross started.

Remember when 50 Cent did that whole thing where he said Ja Rule was whack?

I still don't understand that. I need someone to explain that to me. How is someone who had to go to jail considered not a "credible" artist, but you'll turn around and accept the fact that a correctional officer took his name from Freeway Rick Ross?

And Rick Ross is going to say something about police brutality? Did he hate himself as a correctional officer? Is Rick Ross suffering from borderline personality disorder (sidenote: What happened to Nicki Minaj's other characters that were in her head? Did that go away with Ebola?)

Maybe it was one of those situations where Jay Z saw Rick Ross's following, saw his numbers, signed him up, did a little more investigating, realized what happened, and did his best to make sure everyone forgot about it.

Ever listen to rap music made by real killers? It reminds me of the rap equivalent to Charles Manson's album. Or white supremacist punk bands.

Like, you're too busy doing bad things to focus on being an accomplished musician, and everything has this creepy vibe when you think about the background behind it. Do you really think Tony Montana would be a good rapper? Be honest.

Iggy ain't in the murder business. Iggy doesn't wanna be in the murder business. No talks about romantic conjugals with dysfunctional collectors of murderabilia. Authenticity ain't fun kids. Romantic idealism is amazing. Authenticity is using your driver's license and putting it in an art gallery. Don't go there. It's not fun.

She Doesn't Seem To Care Much For The Genre

Christopher Nolan has said something that has dramatically changed how I see everything. With regards to movies he said "When you watch a film, and you feel like whoever made this film thinks it's the greatest film ever, that's the sign of a quality movie".

You can apply this with anything. Being literate in your craft. Doing the little things that show you care. Giveafuck, as I like to call it.

Just look at this video at 1:30 when she was with Sway.

Didn't even try to freestyle.

Like, listen, I understand we all have bad days, maybe a fear that the rap would have came out whack. But there wasn't even any passion there. Riff Raff did better. And Riff Raff doesn't even perform apparently, he plays his songs, vibes out to them, and just randomly sings the chorus when he performs live.

Q Tip gave her a shoutout on Twitter. Do you realize how happy I would be if Q Tip gave me a shoutout on Twitter? He made 90s hip-hop what it was. He only got paid $10,000 to make one of the greatest albums of all time.

And she dissed him. A student of the craft wouldn't diss Q Tip.

Eminem made a song about her. Did she counter with a rap song, like a normal rapper? No, just a rant about how she's offended. That's so lame. Offended? In the murder business? The realest? Can you not feel it in your gut? How lame it is? 

Like, I try not to diss people in the industry because it burns networking bridges and blah, blah, blah, but I'm taking the risk on this one. It stinks.

I think the reason why hip-hop is so prevalent as opposed to heavy metal is that heavy metal tries too hard without getting any results.

And that's the cost of pride. Obscurity and disappointment. And a bill for all this gear. Hip-hop just needs a laptop. Hip-hop is an improvised explosion device.

But honestly, she ended up randomly ranting out one of her pre-written songs. How can you not look at that and tell me that's lame?

It stinks so much.

It's Continuously Inauthentic 

Listen, if you don't like white people, and you don't like white people listening to rap, that's fine. But you have to, on some level, enjoy white people when they're authentically who they are. Let them be apathetic and sing to Madonna in their GAP clothing.

Do you like Huey Lewis and The News?

(sidenote: A Dominican woman once told me she liked white boys. I asked her if she liked Huey Lewis and the News. She said she liked CNN. I thought that was hilarious)

You gotta let white people dance to Joy Division. You have to let losers like...what are we at now...Teen Mom? Who replaced Jersey Shore? Wasn't it Buckwild? But they died right? Who holds that crown now?

You have to let people live in their niche. Everyone hated Paris Hilton. Wanted her to go away. Mission Accomplished. Now we have Kardashians.

You wanted Saddam Hussein out of there, he was smuggling his cache into Syria.

Congratulations, you now have ISIS.

Winston Churchill once said that the "Wars of the People will be much more violent than the Wars of the Kings".

Vacuums get filled.

As much as I don't like Iggy, I think it's going to get worse. Like, we're going to get Bieber Iggy. Mumbling autotune as he screams at you playing Call of Duty Bieber Iggy.

And then we'll say "At least Iggy's a grown woman".


  1. No comments yet? Curious.
    Ok, first off, I have to say if I was in America, and I said anything about Australians, and then went to Australia, I'd probably have to retract a lot of what I said. It's kinda like me being disappointed with my taco at an authentic Mexican restaurant because I'm used to American style. That said, if you don't know how she was raised, your perceptions of what she says and does will likely miss the mark.
    1st, if you can't comprehend it, that's ok. I was in Australia and this guy spoke a couple paragraphs to me and it was far from understandable, -to me. Not just any guy- I knew him, my GF's sister's BF. It's just sometimes I couldn't understand him, but I figured out why. I heard an example in the vid u posted, which basically came down to structuring the sentence with pronoun, adverb, verb, noun instead of how I naturally anticipate it, which is prounoun verb noun adverb. (I learned grammar in the UK, so I knew 'structure' differences vs the American way, but still.) So Iggy doesn't 'think' in the structure we're used to, and add to that her excessive wordplay and terms we're likely unfamiliar with, yeah - lots of it we'll be clueless to.

    The Q-Tip thing - was not a diss. If people knew the nature of Australians, they'd know better. After I'd read it, and then learned it was mistaken for a diss to him, I was like, 'Oh, yeah it actually could be interpreted that way. The thing is, if you know someone who is generally nice, and grateful, but you hear/see them saying something seemingly negative, then you MISSED something. It wasn't obvious though. She basically responded to him respectably, then continued with her feelings about people 'in general' who claim she doesn't know this and that, which is NOT what HE did. He didn't say 'you don't know shit, and now Im going to teach you.' so the second part of her response did not apply to him.

    About freestyling... I was into rap since it was first introduced. I'd written tons, an artist growing up with drawing, music, and writing skills and an analytical mind that understood the patterns and emphasis and nature of putting syllables to the beat like notes on sheet music. But when the idea of freestyling came up, I noted I couldn't do it. Not without lots of practice. Certain people can use both hemispheres of the brain more naturally, allowing creative thought and logical verbal timing simultaneously. Other people can't even do it with practice. Putting someone on the spot who doesn't practice it, you'll get 1 of 2 outcomes: an embarrassing attempt or an attempt to avoid embarrassment. It was actually somewhat clever to say 'I'll tell you a story instead' and at least offer him something instead of a flat refusal. It may actually have been anticipated by T.I. who's say, "if someone every asks you to spit freestyle, do this..."

    Not authentic and having no street cred? First, we have to end the confusion: There was DJ/MC rap music, and a hip hop culture. Anybody can rap, and being from the culture isn't a requirement. Iggy isn't from the culture, but since the genre title isn't 'rap' any more, she is by definition classified as 'hip hop'. Is she hip hop? No, she only performs it. The closest she can come is to get into character and try to feel and perform the emotion and attitude of someone who IS of the culture.

    Im just saying,.. to judge without understanding invalidates the assessment

    1. Dude, I’ve been busy, but I’ll bite.

      AC/DC is from Australia. I love AC/DC. I have no issues with them. Because they’re being true to themselves. They don’t have an attitude about petty things. They do what they love. You can feel it. Does Angus Young homage Chuck Berry? Yeah, but that’s something he loves doing. He doesn’t care. He’s not doing it for street cred.

      Iggy Azalea is not that. Not that at all. This was a scheme. This was always a scheme. There’s no love of the craft. She engaged in one of the most competitive artforms in the world, and she can’t handle the criticism, not even in a playful way.

      There was a time when rappers would respond to disses in their music. Not by being a victim on social media. When you dish, but can’t take, people get resentful.

      This attitude shows through her music. That’s why the tour got cancelled.

      People bring up cultural appropriation. It’s more than that. I guarantee you that there’s probably some other Australian female rapper that’s better than Iggy Azalea.

      In this day and age, an artist needs an excuse. “Yeah, he’s a douchebag, but that one album was off the hook.” “Yeah, the sequel sucked, but the original isn’t ruined in anyway”. “Yeah, David Hasselhoff is corny, but True Survivor is catchy as fuck”.

      When an artist loses the excuse, they lose integrity. Fancy’s hook was Charli XCX. The rhyme was not good. She can’t dance. What’s the excuse?

      That’s what separates it from reality television. There’s no redeeming quality in the Duggars now. They destroyed it. Kate Gosselin doesn’t have an excuse.

      All they had was the “personality”, and when the personality is untrue, bad things happen.

      Which is what Iggy is dealing with right now.